For The Love of My Pain
by genora.shackelford9
Summary: Kendall has a new boyfriend. They've been dating for a year and a half. Logan goes through denial, realization and trying to come to terms with his feelings, as he tries to get Kendall away from Daren. What happens when Kendall falls pregnant. Can Logan save him from him or will Kendall become another victim?
1. EntrapmentDenial

**Hello my fellow readers, this is the new edited chapter. Most likely I'm gonna edit each one of my chapters since I found some parts I didn't put in the first time, I'm horrible, aren't I? Anyway, I thought it was best to fix my errors since I had some time on my hands. Hopefully, I will have them all back within a week. I took them down, so the ones who read it the first time, don't get confused by the rearrangement in my words. I hope that clears up any mild confusion. Anyway, this is a abuse, rape, and self-harm fic. This isn't for immature eyes, per say. This addresses a real issue, so feel free to leave if this isn't your forté. I hope you enjoy it. Review, Follow, Oh, and Enjoy!?**

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**Chapter 1 - Entrapment/ Denial**

**(Logan P****.****O****.****V****)**

I sat on the couch, as I scribbled on a piece of paper, sitting along the red sectional with James and Carlos, who were too busy cuddling to care about my presence, and Katie was sitting on the floor, munching out of a bowl of popcorn. We were watching the new horror movie Paranormal Activity 2. I wasn't really that interested. Horror movies just wasn't my thing, plus I wasn't that scared. Compared to that prank Carlos pulled on me a few months ago, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be scared of anything anymore. I shivered mentally at the thought. I tried to drown out all the pitiful screams, as the brunette in a green plaid shirt ran across the screen, the jock following in pursuit. I personally thought horror movies were overrated. It was just another way for adults to think all of us teenagers were crazy, and couldn't be trusted without anything ending in someone dying. It was stupid.

I was getting my homework done early. I had a week to do it, but I never believed in squandering time. It was too precious. The guys thought It was silly, but that's just how I am. Kendall and Daren walked in holding hands. Daren was Kendall's boyfriend, and he was his first boyfriend ever, really. To tell you the truth, I never thought he would reduce to dating a guy. I'm not saying he's a homophobe, but it was just unexpected, you know. I mean, out of everyone I imagined him with, he wasn't it. He had shaggy brown shaggy locks, gorgeous caramel skin, and captivating blue eyes. Ever since he got here, every girl wanted him. I mean, he was big-chested as well. Who wouldn't. He was a good-looking guy, but it was like he didn't have to try. I was intimidated, but I also hated his guts. The guys liked him, but his presence just made me uneasy.

It's not like he wasn't an okay guy, he just gives me a bad feeling, you know. His charisma radiated off him like the smell of Carlos' gym socks after hockey practice. Yes, It's that bad and it scared the fuck out of me. Then again, that's probably my nerves' running wild. They've been dating for a year and a half now. He was eighteen and Kendall was sixteen. Kendall started dating him, after James and Carlos announced they were having an affair. Carlos broke up with his girlfriend, and they've been in love ever since. Daren moved to the Palm Woods, after he started doing a solo album with Gustavo. He instantly asked Kendall out and he said yes, of course. For the first week it was Daren this and Daren did that. It got off my freaking nerves, but Kendall was happy so and nothing made me happier than to see a smile on his face.

They've been inseparable ever since. Literally, Kendall didn't go anywhere without him. It kind of worried me, but then again I've always been paranoid. I looked up from my textbook slightly, as I watched Kendall sat on Daren's lap. The blondes' sides of his mouth lifted into a smile, blushing, as Daren whispered in Kendall's ear. It sort of made me me pissed off, as anger began to flair up in my loins at the site. I growled mentally, How dare he touch what's mine? My eyes widen slightly at the thought, and tried to shake out my most jealous thoughts. For the past few months since we got here, I've been noticing some things I don't normally notice. The way his bangs flip over his eyes, as he talks. How the light hits his skin make it look so creamy and soft, it made me want to feel all over it. The way every muscle aligns so perfectly that it makes his walk look so enticingly beautiful, it made me want to melt. The way his hips sway in such a slow, but antagonizing motion that made me want to fuck him. The way his lips are so gorgeously plush red that it reminded me of roses.

The way I can feel every vibration from his voice when he talks. When you look in those green filled pools, you fill such an energy that you're transported to another dimension where you swear you can feel all the greatest emotions imaginable.

He had the most delicate eyelashes, but the most bushy eyebrows that was strange, but beautiful at the same time, or how every speech he makes has a special essence that could make anyone smile, happy or bubbly on the inside. He made everything a passionate experience that everyone enjoyed. I think that is why a few reasons why he was our leader. A person that loved life so much, he could make anyone else love it too. A smile came to my face at the thought. I frowned. Then again, it was strange. I I noticed all these things. I never considered myself gay like James and Carlos. I mean, I dated Camille for God sakes. I mean I still love her, but more as a sister than a girlfriend, you know. Plus, I never put much thought into my sexuality, I always believed I was straight. I like girls, but I guess being gay kind of of explains why I find him beautiful. I mean, I couldn't be in love with my best friend right?

Plus, he was a guy. Not a girl, but a guy. I never had a problem with gays. I mean, everyone should have a right to love whoever they want. I don't have a problem with that. It just the thought of me being gay that bothered me a bit. I never really considered things in my perspective to be clear with at least a scientific explanation to back up my theory. There had to be a reason why I loved him so much. I mean does an answer like that even exist. Though, back in Minnesota, everything was fine, but now that we made it to L.A, everything changed, feelings changed. I didn't know if it was lust or love, but I loved the idea of whichever one that landed him beneath me.

I sighed bIistfully, and James and Carlos raised an amused eyebrow at me, not hiding their smirks. Hell, even Katie was doing it. I, also thought they knew, too. A red tent slowly came to my cheeks, as I shook my head. Damn, there goes those blasted thoughts again. I couldn't explain it. It was so fucking confusing. I smiled hesitantly at Kendall, and Daren gave me a blistering glare. He narrowed his eyes at me, as he tightened his grip on Kendall. I watched, as Kendall fidgeted uncomfortably and a look of panic flashed across his features for a millisecond. Then, it vanished as quick as it came.

I frowned at his uneasiness. Then again, I've been noticing some strange things as well about Kenny. He is a lot more distant since he met Daren. It's like he he avoids to be alone in the same room with either one of us. He didn't like it when we ask about where he's going. He especially hates when we ask about Daren. He just starts up a random conversation or he just stays silent, goes into our room, and slams the door. I was truly worried about Kenny. Now, he plains started avoiding us at all costs. He's never home anymore, he's always at Daren's. I was really worried. I watched, as Kendall laughed. Then again, he might be fine. He's always fine. Well, I hope so. That didn't stop the never-ending anxiety that flooded the pit of my stomach.

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**(Kendall's P.O.V)**

I watched, as my boyfriend stared intensely at Logan. Now, he was crushing my ribcage with his hands enough to leave bruises.

"Baby, could you lighten up on your grip?" He growled, and I felt the vibration rumble between our bodies.

He grabbed my hand forcefully, as he pulled me out of 2J. I heard James yell my name, but it was now in the distance. He grabbed me harder by my arm, forcing me up the stairs. I swear, if he kept doing this, it would come off. As soon as we got to the door, he harshly pushed me inside. I wasn't that surprised, compared what he said to me a few minutes ago. I gently closed the door of 3K. I gently turned my head, rewarding me with a slap to the face. My face hit the door making me slide down the door in agony. Blood rolled down my mouth, as it dripped out my nose. I slowly looked up at the man that did this to me.

His fists were clenched. The veins on the side of his head tighten. He squatted down to look at me and his eyes showed no love in them. He was very angry. I was so scared right now. My heart was beating a thousand times a minute. He punched me in the face and smashed my head against the wall, making me hit the the floor. He started kicking me and I curled up and fetal position. Why was he doing this to me? What did I do wrong? My lungs on fire, as he kicked me harder and harder. I tasted the familiar metallic taste on my tongue, as he grabbed me by my hair, yanking me to eye-level.

"You are such a fucking whore. So what, you fucking Logan now?" I stayed silent, as I trembled. I felt his breath against my face, as he spat those venomous words. He yanked harder, making me cry out in excruciating pain.

"Answer me. God dammit"

"No, You know, I love you." I sobbed under his gaze, as he screamed in anger and slapped me to the floor

"Liar, you are nothing, but a filthy whore. You like being a slut? Parading around the Palm Woods like a fucking whore. Huh, you like that? I refuse to be disrespected by a little bitch like you. You need to learn your place." He grabbed my body harshly, as he slammed me, face-down, on the couch.

"Did you like it when he fucked you, Kenny?" Tears ran down my face, burning tear tracks into my cheeks, as I cried harder.

"I didn't do him, I swear," Daren nodded, not believing a word he said.

"Well, you know what they say, dogs need to be punished. " He ripped open my shirt, and my eyes were burning with tears.

"Remember this Kenny?" He said menacingly, as he pulled out a Swiss army knife. The metal gleamed, as the light hit it and my eyes went wide. He brought it close to my cheek and ran the cold metal across my skin, down my body. He ran it down my torso and he started cutting a line from my last ab-pack to my belly button. It hurt, as the cool air hit my open wound. He chuckled darkly, as he undid my pants and shoved in without any preparation. I screamed, as I felt the burning feeling in my ass and arm. He started at a fast pace slamming in and out of me. He ran the knife across my arm twice smearing it on my body, as he brutally raped me.

"Yeah bitch, scream like the true whore you are."

It felt like an adrenaline rush, as he cut me. It was like pain and pleasure in one, as he continuously hit my prostate. It was pure ecstasy, but I couldn't help, but wonder why he was doing this to me at all. He was my heart and soul. I would never betray him. I felt wetness and I could only figure is blood from all the pain he was causing me. Though, I learned not fight when he got like this. It just made things easier, even though it didn't make the pain lessen any more than when he began. Soon, I felt wetness release inside my ass and pulled out cumming all over me. He grabbed my chin.

"You are a useless, fat piece of shit and you're lucky that I even want you. If you ever cross me again, it'll be far worse." He said, holding the knife to my neck, throwing me to the floor. I sobbed, as I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"I love you. I'd never betray you."I yelled at him, and he glared at me.

"You better not, or I'll make sure you never cheat on anyone else again." He kissed me on the lips, as I cried. He grabbed a towel and threw it at me.

"Clean yourself up.' he pulled up his pants, as he walked out of 3K, leaving me lonely. I sobbed into my blood stained hands. It was all my fault. I knew he didn't like Logan. Deep down, he was a really sweet guy, but why do I have to keep testing him? He's right. I am a piece of shit. It's all my fault. I deserved this. All of It.

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**Well, that was the heartbreaking end to this chapter. I cried, when I got to his P.O.V. Daren is an asshole right? Well, follow and review, so I can make Kogan happen. Love you all, Peace:) -Genora.**


	2. Accusations

**Hello my beautiful and wonderful readers. Yay, I got fifteen followers, so my other ****story,** Discovering The Difference Between Love And Lust,** now are going neck in neck, in the following department. **_Poisoned Heart_ **beats them by far though. I love you all for following. I hope I get more. Anyway, here is another edited chapter. I hope you all liked it, because I had to change a lot in it. Well, mostly dialogue, which is not my best expertise, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I was first going to 're-do this story in first POV, but every time I looked at the format, it just didn't come out right to me. I mean, you can't really get better if you don't give yourself time to improve, so hopefully next story I can write in first POV. Right now, I'm just gonna stick to the basically. Follow and Review. Enjoy!?**

**Oh, and I wanna thank the ones who reviewed originally in this chapter.**

**Ms. Simmons Giggles217**

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**I wanna thank you guys so much, because you all really inspire me as a writer and no words could possibly began to describe how much. Love you all dearly, from the bottom of my heart:)**

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**Chapter 1 - Accusations**

**(Kendall's P.O.V)**

I sat curled up in the brown-leathered love-seat in fetal position, as the light poured in through the slightly cracked window, upon my body and onto the soft, cherry-like wood that sat beneath it, slowly making the room burst with color and light. It was smaller than 2J, but it was still fairly many pictures of random art and photos of us on our many dates adorned the ecru-colored walls, that softly complimented the leaf-designed rug that adorned the floor, surrounded by his brown sectional and love-seat. The light sparkled gracefully across the small open-mouthed kitchen with black, onyx counters next to the stainless, silver appliances, and a large golden chandelier sat on the mid-high, pentagon cut in, ceiling, hovering above me, as it's crystals sang a pretty melody every time the wind hit it. Though, the apartment was fairly silent, almost ominous. My mind was blank, I didn't know what to say, what to think. This was a time where I was constantly caught up in my thoughts. It never changed. I always found myself in the same spot every time we fought, though the only person I can blame is myself, right? I sighed, I didn't know what to do. I didn't even care about the soft, cool breeze flying through it, enveloping my body in it's soft, windy fixtures that made my hands turn blue.

I slowly rubbed my arm where the many blue and pink like bruises sat upon it like overburdened tattoos over my now heavily tattered, porcelain skin, silently creeping from under my long-sleeved shirt. My eyes were bloodshot with tears and completely emotionless, as I tried to stifle back sobs. These are also the moments when I the most alone, when every brick from my subconscious walls finally fell down. I mean, he truly was a sweet and passionate guy. He's always been like that, ever since I met him. Yeah, he had a slight temper and we fought, but what couple doesn't? I am really new to all of this, so it's not like it's his fault, right? He's simply just trying to make our relationship work, and I loved him, heavily infatuated with him, so I would expect nothing less. So, was it wrong to blame him for something that he didn't do?

I let another tear run down my reddened cheek, instantly hearing the noise of a door knob turning, as Daren stepped through it . He was carrying a big batch of colorful roses in one arm, and a packaged gift in the other. I smiled tearfully, as he placed them in my arms.

"Daren." I said, in a small voice, with visible hints of love. He brought his hands to my face, cupping it, as he kissed my bruised lips, as he took a hold of my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Baby, I'm sorry if I made you mad, I'm so sorry." I said, as fresh tears ran down my face. He wiped them, with a evil smirk, grabbing my ching, making me look at him.

"Then don't provoke me." He growled, as if it was fairly obvious. "but I forgive you."

"You know, I'd never love anyone else, right?" I said, as I smiled slightly at the fluttering feeling in my chest. He nodded, a small smile gracing his features.

"I know, It's just so hard not to think that when you have such a beautiful guy to come home to everyday."He exclaimed, caressing my cheek, and I leaned into his touch.

"Now, we need to hurry. I don't need to hear any shit from you mom about you being late over some dumb-ass bullshit you made me do." I noticed how he said the word 'mom' with extra venomously, as he tossed the bag at me. I looked in it and gasped. It was a hockey jersey that read ' Daren's Love' above a number 6.

"Oh baby." He shrugged

"I knew you'd like it since you're into that type of shit." I smiled.

"You always did know how to treat me right."

"You know it, baby?" He said, as he slapped my ass.

"Now, let's go before we have to hear another slurred comment from one of your punk-ass friends." I nodded as he handed me some foundation.

"Put this on, when you got there. I don't want any questions from your nosy-ass best-friend." I nodded, trying to ignore the stinging words at the mention of Logan, as I grabbed the things he gave me. We walked out the room with his arm around my shoulders. I avoided the stares jealous stares of the girls, and the eyes full of confusion, but greater steady glares, as we approached 2J. He pushed me against the wall, my legs wrapping themselves around his waist, as he kissed me. He leaned over to my ear and whispered,

"Meet me in the room at 3. Don't be late or you'll regret it."

I shivered, as he let me drop to the floor and walked away. I stood trying to compose myself, as I opened the door, slowly peaking inside, and scanning the room with my eyes. When I realized no one was in the room, I stepped in closing the door, quietly. My back falling flat against it, as I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Phew, no one was up yet. If mom found out I was sneaking out at night, She'd have my ass.

I slowly made my way to my room, taking off my clothes and threw them in the hamper, as I went to the bathroom. I let the watery mist spray on my face and the soap cascade down my body, removing any evidence from last night. His semen, his scent, and everthing washing down the drain. I scrubbed hard over my bruises, wincing from the pain, as the hot water washed over my wounds. I know he didn't mean it to do this to me. I mean it's not like I'm James. I'm not gawking gorgeous for everyone to see.

I'm lucky he even wants me. Yet, all I do I do is make him mad. Tears soaked my face, as I pulled a piece of the metal blade from my razor, slicing it across my arm, slightly wincing again from the blade opening my skin. The red-dyed like substance began to peek out from my wound, the steam from the water making it sting, as I sliced through another old wound on my arm. I'm mostly wore long sleeve shirts since it was Fall, so I could hide them. I cut once, twice, three times until I finally felt calm enough. I smiled satisfied, as a sheet of blood ran down my arm and the scorching hot water hit them, dripping down my porcelain fingertips and onto the shower floor.I watched the blood-stained water began to seep down the drain, along with my pain, sorrow, and shame.

Cuts lined both my arms and some bruises started to yellow on my abdomen and legs, because someone flirted with me last week and Daren didn't like it. I was his, and he was mine. He loved me and people who love each other, don't give up on each other, right?

Yeah, he had some issues, but we could work it out, right? It's not like it's his fault, I'm the way I am. I scrubbed harder, as I sobbed. After I finished, I dried myself off and changed my clothes. I took a small breath, as I slipped the foundation out of my pocket, and sat at the mirror on the dresser. I spread it across my bruised skin quickly on my face, making sure to cover up some of my visible bruises. I sighed, as I tried to blend it in with my skin, as I wet my lips, making a face at the metallic taste of blood on my tongue. I hope no one notices the difference.

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**(Logan's P.O.V)**

I held my books in my hands and I balanced them on my right arm. I just came from Camille's. She wouldn't let me leave until I helped her rehearse her new acting role. After our breakup a few months ago, we still remained friends and it didn't feel awkward in the slightest. I mean, she was a good girlfriend, but we just didn't connect the way we thought we did as lovers. Plus, she was happy. After we broke up, she started dating Lucy. They were strangely a cute couple. They shared a lot of interests that me and Camille didn't. I smiled slightly, but it faltered as soon, as I opened the door. I gasped, as I saw Kendall rub something on his cheeks. "Kendall".

He jumped at my my face as he hid the thing behind his back.

"What's that on your face?" I watched as random emotions ran across his face.

"Nothing." He exclaimed, as he grabbed whatever he was holding and tried to rush out of the room past me.

I grabbed him by the wrist and gently yanked him back in the room, standing him right in front of me, grabbing the thing.

"Logan." I looked at it ignoring his protests.

"Why do you have foundation?" He yanked it back, and I noticed a big, yellow bruise under his sleeve.

"Kendall?" He yanked it away and I flinched surprised, as the sleeve on his shirt began to ride up and dark and blotchy bruise could be seen. He slid it back as soon as I noticed it, and glared at me angrily.

Why did Kendall have a bruise on his arm? Most importantly, what was he hiding from me? We told each other everything. He would tell me if something is wrong right?

"Logan, I'm fine, okay? It's nothing, so fucking drop it. Geez." He exploded at me.

I was surprised. I looked at Kendall's eyes and something wasn't quite right in them. Something had to be wrong. Could it?

Kendall shoved past me angrily, shoving my shoulder in the process. He stomped out of the room. I followed and saw the guys seated at the open kitchen. Carlos and James sat side by side, while Katie sat beside Carlos. I watched, as Kendall grabbed an apple and was on his way back to our room when, his mom stopped him.

"Wait a minute, turn around and walk back this way." Kendall sighed and smiled, but it looked forced more than it did natural.

"Yes, Mom?" She held a look of uncertainty.

"Sweetie, are you okay? You didn't come home last night?" He sat beside me and avoided my stare, knowing I was looking his way. He took a bite out of his apple, refusing to acknowledge my current presence.

"I'm fine. I was at Daren's."Carlos murmured and I looked at him suspiciously, as James slapped him upside the head, giving him a look.

"Ow , what? What did you do that for? Dang." James smiled sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby." He said, as James kissed his head and smacked it again .

"Hey?!" Carlos glared and James reflected him.

"Don't be a dumb-ass." Katie burst out laughing.

"That's tough love, brother."

I turned my attention back to Kendall, as Mrs. Knight slid me a plate of waffles. "Okay, but no more all nighters. You know, I can't sleep well at night knowing I'm missing one of my boys." She kissed his forehead..

"Boyfriend or not?" She smirked, as she looked at James and Carlos.

"Why did you look at us when you said that?"

She narrowed her eyes giving them a look that said it all. James blushed, knowing what she meant. Kendall dipped off to the room and Katie and followed in pursuit. James and Carlos retreated to the couch and I walked after them, as they sat, James preferably.

"Guys, did you notice something wrong with Kendall this week?" I mean it's been a week since movie night and he's been acting stranger and shrugged.

"A little, but Logan, I'm sure my answer isn't gonna change. I'm sure he's fine. I mean my answer didn't change yesterday and it's not changing today. Stop worrying. You're not trying to stalk your boy toy are you?"He said, teasing.

I blushed and groaned lowly, After my sudden thoughts of Kendall, I told James and Carlos, and the suggested I had a crush on Kendall. I didn't. I mean, I don't. I can't, right? Whatever, I'm not gonna worry about that now.

"I don't have a crush on Kendall."Carlos choked back a laugh.

"Yeah, and I'm not fucking him. Are you in denial, Logie?" He said, teasing as James punched him in the arm.

"I don't" I retorted.

"I know."

"I'm serious, Carlos." I said, warningly.

"Fine, you don't like him, you don't like him, that's that."I growled at his childishness.

"But, if you're that worried, we'll do some digging. Only because he rubs me the wrong way and I fucking hate the bastard." I smiled, but raised an eyebrow at his choice of words. Carlos was never really the one to say he hated anyone.

"Why?" Carlos looked at me with an unknown expression, and James face-palmed himself.

"Oh, here it goes." James sighed.

"He insulted the 'Oh great and mighty' helmet. Oh, and his love for corndogs." My eyebrows went up in surprise. That was a step too far for Carlos. He loved his helmet and even get me started on corndogs.

"I mean, how dare he? Saying you don't like corndogs, is like you don't like breathing. He insulted my two greatest loves. Well, not more than I love you, though" He said, sheepishly towards James and he made a face.

"The damage is done."

"I hate him so much, I wanna strangle him." He said, as he pulled his helmet out of nowhere and began stroking it lovingly, making James fall on the floor. His eyes widened.

"Oh, sorry babe." James glared at him in response.

"I can't believe I got kicked out of my seat for a helmet."Carlos gawked.

"It's much more than 'a helmet.' It's precious and I never said that about your Man Cuda." James glared.

"Like hell. Plus, yours is just an obsession." Carlos smirked.

"Two words, Man Cuda." James turnt red.

"Screw you."

"I love you, too." James' rolled his eyes at Carlos's antics and smiled. I couldn't help, but smile as they continued to argue. Well, at least something around here made sense. I didn't know what was going on with My Kenny, but even if it took my last breath, I'm gonna stop until I find out.

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**Well, that was all. Thank you so much for reading. Follow and Review. You know what to :)**


	3. Realizations

**Hello my beautiful followers, this is another edited chapter. I'm sorry I didn't stick to my word, but my chapter For **_Poisoned Heart_** has finally taken me for ****a**** spin and I've been on edge trying to figure it out. I mean, hopefully I will have it up within a week, but you know it takes time. Anyway, I will start posting these two chapters at a time until I can finally get to where I was and it hopefully won't take too long. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Again, I say, not for the squeamish. Enjoy!?**

**Also, to thank all my reviewers and followers.  
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**Thank you all so much. At least my writing isn't a complete waste in the eyes of my readers. I'm entirely grateful:)  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or it's characters, but I wish I did. It's sadly a dream I don't possess.**

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**Chapter 3 - Realizations**

**(Logan's P.O.V)**

For the next few weeks, we started staking out, following Daren and my suspicions were correct. He was nothing, but a self-absorbed, selfish, rude, egotistic, and stuck-up prick. I wonder why Kendall even loves this douche. The more I found out, the more I grew to hate him, slowly stirring up the anger that boiled within my veins. Just the thought of him fucking over my Kendall made me pissed to the core, and strangely for the last few weeks those two words seemed to have been constantly wandering in my mind, _My Kendall._

It was getting harder and harder for me to convince myself that I wasn't in love with Kendall. Now, most of my tiredless nights, I go to sleep dreaming of those beautiful, angelic, emerald green eyes staring back at me, or to have those small, but full, creamy, and sexy hips wrapped around my waist, as I pound into his sweet exotic flesh I so humbly craved, and to see those stained red, miraculous, astounding, remarkable, extraordinary, marvelous plump lips wrapped around my throbbing- . Wait a minute, I'm getting off topic. The worst thing to do is get a raging hard-on in in the Palm Woods lobby.

A camouflage tree hat sat upon my head, as I looked into the binoculars that sat upon my hands. Carlos sat beside me in the tall bushes as our target came into sight. We could see his bright smile, as he escorted the girl into the glass doors. His hand on her lower back, as he turned her to face him and pulled her into a kiss. I growled deeply. Not to mention, a worthless, cheating asshole. The blonde wore a purple shape-fitter dress that hugged her shape down to her thighs, as she gawked and flirted with him. The couple made their way to the hallway.

"They're on the move." he whispered, as we ditched our tree hats in the bushes, sneaking behind them, following in careful pursuit.

We moved slowly through the hallway, avoiding their looks behind the big columns and corners, as we followed them to 8J. She pulled him into a lustful kiss and my chest growled in pure disgust, as she dragged him into the dark room. I sighed, as I pulled down the binoculars. How dare he? Kendall was amazing, talented, and plain wonderful. Albeit, even a better lover than anyone I've ever dated myself, but he would want to cheat on him? I'm not gonna stand for this. He's going down for sure, if I had anything to do with it.

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We walked side by side back to 2J. We entered the nice apartment, as we spotted Jamie sitting by a sleeping form. I closed my eyes, as my mind drifted into a painful flashback.

**(Flashback)**

_Considering my bed dIdn't seem too comfortable right now, I laid on the couch, facing up with my hands under my head, supporting my weight. I couldn't sleep one bit, Mama Knight and the others were in bed. Well, it was 2am in the morning, who wouldn't? Apparently, my ass. Hearing the soft click of the door, I looked up seeing a broken and battered Kendall. I sat up quickly, as I basically ran to his side. Seeing he has bruise on his left cheek, blood ran from his nose, and even more fell from his bloodied lip. I looked at him in horror, as I grabbed his chin making him look at me._

_"Kendall, what happened?" I looked at the blond, as he opened his mouth trying to decipher the words, but closed it oh so quickly, as he opened it._

_I grabbed his hands lightly and guided him to the bathroom, and sat Kendall on the close-lidded toilet seat. I put his hand down, as I grabbed the first aid kit, cleaned his wounds and wiped the blood from his face. Kendall looked away the entire time until I finally spoke, my chest constricted with sudden impending fear of what could have happened to my blonde, as I looked at him deeply in his green orbs._

_"Kendall, tell me what happened?" Kendall closed his eyes, turning his head. I turned him back to me, trying to figure out what was wrong with him._

_"Kenny?"He opened his mouth slightly._

_"It's nothing. Really, I'm okay." as he tried to ignore my worried eyes. I couldn't help it when my voice raised._

_"Kendall, your cheek is bruised and you have a busted-lip and you say you're fine?!" Kendall flinched slightly and I could see him quiver a little at my touch. My mind wondered,but stopped when Kendall looked at me with pleading eyes, clearly reading my thoughts._

_"We don't need to tell them. I just-. Logan please? I can't. I just can't."_

_I looked into his softened eyes with tears in them. Something in my gut told me not to listen and to tell someone, but I couldn't deny those eyes. I sighed._

_"Okay." I said, feeling a big web of lies slowing spinning in the deep depths of my soul, trapping me with each fragment that spilt out of my mouth._

_"Logan, promise me you'll let this go and you'll leave it alone." He said looking at me desperately with a hint of seriousness in his eyes. I opened my mouth, but closed it stopping myself._

_"Logan, promise me please?" I sighed, giving in, letting myself be willing to his satisfaction._

_"Fine." I sighed, knowing it was just another empty promise I could not keep, just another lie woven into my web. I couldn't let it go. I refuse to let it go. Something was off and I was gonna find out what._

_I finished patching him up and picked up bridle-style, taking him to our room and carefully laid him on his bed. He curled up in his bed and gave me and adorable, shy, and cute look that would make anyone close to cumming._

_"Logan, could I sleep with you, tonight?" I looked at him surprised, but nodded, as he looked at me sheepishly._

_He climbed into bed with me, wrapping his arms around my torso, cuddling into me. He laid his head on my broad chest, clutching me adoringly, as he slept soundly. I sat up the rest of the night, just listening at the sound of the blond's breathing as he slept, mind on overdrive, subconscious refusing to process anything, but his gorgeous sound._

**(Flashback)**

That was a week ago, and I still thought of that night every day since then. Why did Kendall flinch when I touched him? Why did he even have bruises and scars? Who hurt him? Why did they hurt him? I mean, I know he didn't fall. He was sometimes a bit messy, but he wasn't clumsy. If he got some scars, they were self-inflicted by stupid things we put him up to do or dumb things we got ourselves into. All these questions remained unanswered. I wanted answers to calm my aching heart. It also made me even more cautious of Daren.

If Ken was supposed to be with him, how could he let him get hurt? My heart hurt that I couldn't figure it out.

"So, how did it go?" James said, as he waved Kendall's bangs out of his eyes. I jolted out of my thoughts.

"He's a pompous ass and a cheating asshole." Carlos said, his eyes reflecting nothing, but anger and pure utter irritance

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Carlos." I said, as we both looked at James.

"I believe it. He looks like one." He said, as I sat beside him and placed a hand on Kendall's cheek, caressing it.

"So, how's Kendall?" I said, worried about his condition. He shrugged, his eyes downcasting in sadness and worry.

"I don't know, he's been asleep all day Even Dr. Hollywood said he wasn't completely sure what's wrong with him. Though, Mama Knight went out to see if anyone else could.." My eyes gazed back to Kendall.

My soul filled with dread. Something was wrong with Kendall. He's been doing this a few days in a row. He just slept, no matter what was going on. It drove an energetic Carlos crazy. I hope he was okay . Please let him be okay? Even though deep in my mind, I was dead wrong. Things were just getting worse. Much worse.

* * *

**(Kendall's P.O.V)**

My eyes opened, as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, adjusting to the bright light of the sun pouring in through the window, shining into a bright new day. The birds chirped by the shining window, as I sat up, stretching my rested muscles. I scanned the area noticing Logan was sitting up, his mouth open, snoring softly. I mustered a light laugh, as I draped a small blanket over him. I smiled slightly, as I walked to the kitchen where a plate was laid out for me. An embroidered note hung on the sterling fridge. Picking it up, I read.

_"I'll be back in a few hours. Katie and I went shopping. We'll be back soon. Love, Mom."_

I sighed. I guess it's just me and Logie. I ate slowly savoring every bite of said omelet. I didn't seem to eat much, due to Daren. He thought it was best if I ate less due to my weight.

**(Flashback)**

_I laid naked beside him, after intimate love-making. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to cuddle, but he pushed me off._

_"I can't" He said, as he got up, pulling up his pants and pulling a shirt over his head._

_"Why not?"_

_"Because I got shit to do, that doesn't include cuddling with you."_

_"With who?" I said, softly, as he grabbed my chin, making me look at him._

_"It's not your job to ask who, with who, or fucking why. All you need to know is that I'm fucking going. Got it?" I nodded, submittingly._

_"Good. Plus, before you start asking me where I'm going and what I'm doing, you need to put in more dedication in this so called relationship. You should start working out more, you're getting fat. I'm supposed dating a beautiful blonde , not an ugly, fat slut." as he let my body go, letting me fall on the cold wooden floor. Tears flowed down my cheeks like rivers of water falling down a steep waterfall. All I could hear afterward was the forceful slam of the door behind him, echoing through my ears._

**(Flashback)**

I held back the tears slightly, as my phone buzzed. I looked at it seeing the lit up message.

"Get you pathetic ass down here. Now."

I shivered slightly. He was mad. About what, I didn't know. I better leave before I anger him more. I quickly showered, slicing a few times to ease my mind for the upcoming dramatic situation. Slowly taking refuge in the slow, searing, and throbbing pain that filled me and the pain that awaited me in my currently sealed fate by my loving boyfriend. I quickly finished and dressed, leaving 2J. I walked down the hallways, my heart pounding even more ferociously with each and every passing second.

I slowly walked down the hall of the third floor as a brunette exited their apartment of 3B. It was Scott. The guys and I hung out with him quite a lot before he went on tour. We met when we sang at one of his performances and accidentally crashed his opening was also one of the many Palm Woods light blonde haired, blue eyed heartthrobs. Though, he was nicer than the rest. He was a fairly good singer and basically was the only guy I knew who was a full falsetto. He left Hawk a year ago to work with Gustavo and we have been friends ever since. He smiled at me, and stopped me by grabbing my wrist lightly. I tried to ignore the sting sensation from my covered up cuts, as I felt the pressure effects shoot through my arm. I masked the pain, as he drew me back and looked at me.

"Kendall, why you in such a rush?" I smiled.

"Hey Scott, I just have to meet someone. What's got you back so early?" I asked, clearly not caring that I was spending a few moments with an old friend.

"I thought you were supposed to be on tour for another 3 months." he hesitated.

"Well, I was, but some serious injuries happened to some of my best dancers and some other tragic complications too, so I just decided to come back."

"OK, well, I'll uh." I rushed out, but he caught me, as I almost ran.

"I, Ken uh." I raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" I asked, curiously, wondering why he was acting strangely.

"Actually, I was wondering, since I'm back, we could do something. I don't know, maybe go out to a movie or something or whatever.' I smiled at the sweet notion. My heart dropped as I came back down to earth. Damn, boyfriend.

"Scott, I- I'd love to but I -" I stopped in mid-sentence when down the hall, I could see the door slowly opening from 3K. I could make out his dangerous, angry eyes, looking at me as my breath hitched in my dry throat, making my heart stop abruptly. The seconds didn't seem to past fast enough, as it felt like my throat was constricting against me. I couldn't breathe.

"Scott, I have to go" I pulled away from him and walked down the hall to my awaiting death.

"Kendall, wait?!" Though, I fairly noticed his hands laying at his sides, as he watched as I disappeared down the hall with his aching heart showing throughout his blue orbs with dreadful worry that didn't dare to go unnoticed by me.

The door was closed when I got there and my body froze up and shook, as my hand shakily reached for the door, twisting slowly and cautiously. I opened it and closed it, seeing it was dark. I shivered, as I felt hands wrap around me from behind.

"Kenny." I could smell the alcohol, as I turned around to face him. I watched, as his body waved slightly from the strong alcohol. He held the large bottle, as he took a big swig and set it on the table. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, as he walked closer to me.

"Who the hell was that?" He said, lowly and emotionless. No emotion at all and it scared the living hell out of me. He slapped me across the face, sending me to the floor. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face and it splattered on the floor below me. I looked up at him and quivered, as he bent down and grasped me harshly.

"I'm speaking to you, Who the fuck was that?" He spat, as I looked at his eyes that was ablaze and held fiery passion of anger that heavily sparked through them. I sobbed uncontrollably.

"Scott. He asked me out, but I said no." He let me fall, as he started pacing.

"It didn't look like you said no." I let out breathy gasps, as I felt the burn deep in my hot tears covered my face, as he walked off his fury.

"Gosh, you are such a fucking whore." He said, as he yanked me up and through me against the wall, growling as he looked me in my eyes, holding nothing in them, as his alcohol-filled breath hit my face, reeking of Jack Daniels.

"You are such a fucking whore, you know that? You like random guys to feel all over you, huh? You would like to spread your legs for the entire Palm Woods, wouldn't you? Nothing, but a fucking cock-slut."

He kicked me roughly in the ribs, sending pain through my body, as he continued with his notions.

"You want to leave me?" He said, menacingly, as he watched the burning hot tears slide down my bruised and bloody cheeks.

"No." I moaned in pure pain, as he slapped me again.

"I don't believe you." He smirked at his work, as he punched me, making blood pour out of my nose. He glared as me intensely.

"No one wants you, but me. You are a pathetic slut, and a worthless complete waste of space. No one will ever want you after me. Hell, you belong to me." He exclaimed, as he flung my broken body to the bed and bounded my wrists with his brown, snake skin belt. I sobbed, as he brought the knife to my cheek. It lightly and graciously glimmered against the sunlight that poured in through the window. You'd never even begin to guess that one artistic like object could cause so much pain to not only your body, but your heart as well.

"You are nothing. You're mine and no one else's. No one can ever take my place."He ran the knife across my stomach cutting bruised flesh. He chuckled darkly.

"You don't go anywhere, until I tell you 're mine. Say it." He pressed the knife deeper, making me howl out in pain. I sobbed harder.

"I'm yours. I belong to you." I cried, as more tears fell from my clouded eyes.

"That's what I like to hear." He said, caressing my cheek like I was the most precious thing in the world.

"All mine." He tied a cloth around my mouth, as he tore off my clothes. He cut them, as he fucked me roughly, ignoring the blood that pulsed out of me. The cloth drowned out my pain-filled screams, as he claimed my body. My silent screams echoed through the quiet halls, though it felt as if no one heard my pain and suffering. Our sweaty bodies molded together for the rest of the day, as he continuously took me over and over again.

Deep in my heart I knew, I was Daren's and I couldn't deny that Daren was mine. He loved me. He had to. Right? Knowing deep down in my withered soul that this beautiful monster was the one who held and caged my heart and soul, darkening them both into a deep abyss of pain, depression, and pure utter despair that tied me to this earth.

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**Well, that was all, ladies and gents. Daren is a complete physcopath. Well, in my eyes. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it. Well, before the graphic part. Yeah, awkward. Thanks for reading and hopefully I will post the second one in a few hours. Look out. Peace:) -Genora**


	4. Bleeding and Aching

**Yay, two chapters in one night. Hopefully, one day I can get to this point with** Poisoned Heart, **but for now, I'm gonna focus on the basics. Anyway, here's another edited chapter. Hope you all take it to your liking. Follow and Review. I'll gladly appreciate it. Enjoy!?**

**Thanks to all my followers and reviewers.**

**Winterschild11/BTRobsession**

**JMLHCPKSfan/Jjrocx**

**The Logan Train**

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**Chapter 4 - Bleeding and Aching**

**(Logan's P.O.V)**

For the past week, I've kinda been, you can say, investigating Daren. I basically started documenting him and the people he talked to. As far as anything goes, Daren is perfect in almost every eye possible. Hell, even Mr. Bitters liked him, and he doesn't like anyone, which was quite sickening. I know what you're thinking, why the hell am I doing all of this? Well, I'll tell you why. I've been on edge for the past week, I can't think straight worth a damn after what I saw. I mean, every time I think about it, it explodes into a circuit of never-ending questions that I don't even have the intellect to answer. It made me mad as hell, but it also made me feel terrible that I can't do anything, well at least not yet. Every time I think about it, I'm over come with a horrible, indescribable pain and dread that I, myself can't begin to decipher. It makes my heart hurt with the burning intensity of a thousand suns and no matter what I did, it just wouldn't stop. I grimaced painfully, as I was brought back to what I saw.

**(Flashback)**

_I was woke up out of my sleep by stifling sobs. Everyone was asleep as far as knew. Who would be up at this hour? It was 3am. Looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand, I sighed. I quickly sat up and saw the bathroom door was creaked open slightly, as the light poured in through it, indicating someone was in there. I squinted, as I walked towards it, letting the sounds get louder. I looked towards his bed quickly, noticing he wasn't in it. I yawned softly, as I called out his name_

_"Kenny?"_

_He didn't answer. I rubbed my eyes, as I approached the bathroom. The sobs of pain got louder, as my heart began to beat fast and loud, ready to jump out of my chest in fear._

_"Kenny?" I whispered shakily, as I cracked it open, leaning back even more as I did so._

_I gasped, as my heart felt like it stopped, slowly ripping painfully, as I watched the most terrifying thing I had seen in my lifetime. Our leader. The most beautiful, gorgeous, confident, joyous, humorous, and just plain bubbly blonde, also known as my bestfriend was sitting with his back against the wall. My heart was screaming in pain and agony, as I looked at the pure horror that played out in front of me._

_A small pool of blood lingered on the floor, staining the tile with it's red dye. Kendall just sat there eyes hard and emotionless, as he held the razor tightly, sliding it across his pale gorgeous skin again. It's like my whole world was frozen, I was frozen. My breath was hitched deep in my throat, not allowing me to speak in anyway possible. No words could express the emotions I felt at this very moment. His arm was completely covered in a thick sheet of blood. The horror only got worse, as my vision continued to play with my already broken, tortured soul. I scanned his body that was now covered in some old and new bruises, covering his once perfect skin in a darkened color of purple and yellow. _

_I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or scream. I gulped, as I looked at the deep cuts that lined his arms. My heart broke in two, devastation clearly evident on my face. I looked into his emerald eyes that once held endless happiness, but instead held pain. I didn't know what to do. I was already on the brink of insanity until I saw gentle tears cascade down his porcelain cheeks, faster and faster, his tears getting heavier._

_I followed my instinct, as I rushed and held him close, ripping the dangerous blade out of his grasp, not caring that I cut myself in the process, as I picked him up bridle-style, carrying him to my bed. He clung to me painfully, like a lifeline. I could feel his nails basically dig into my skin, not intending to ever let go, as he sobbed into my chest. His blood continued to soak into my shirt, but I could care less. Hell, right now I didn't care about my own pain._

_This was about Kendall. I held him close in my protective embrace as he cried, clutching my shirt tighter and tighter in a tearing hold. I wanted answers, answers to questions I longed to have. How could he do this? Why did he do this? Who gave him the bruises? Why did they think he deserved them? Who's fault was this? Deep down in my soul, I knew the truth, but truthfully I didn't want to admit it to myself. I'm not gonna lie, everything pointed to him, but I just wished I was wrong._

_Kendall in a way is silly, outgoing, and in another way intellectual. Why would he want to hurt him? I couldn't put into words the stabbing pain I felt when I felt him flinch away from my touch. I wiped away his tears as he held tighter, feeling the blonde calm down a little. I promise that whatever had caused his violent reactions, I would stop it and stop the person who caused them even if it takes a lifetime, even it kills me inside and slowly burned and destroyed my inner core from the inside out._

**(Flashback)**

* * *

Every-time I think about that night, it's makes my wither, ache and darken a little bit more. I couldn't think of any logical explanation of why he would do something like that to himself. Does he enjoy causing himself pain? I mean this went against everything I ever known about him. This was not like Kendall at all. When I looked at his bruises and cuts, I couldn't help ,but feel like I should be blamed . I'm his bestfriend, how could I not know he was cutting himself. Hell, how could he not tell me about this? What could be so bad that he had to hide it from me?

Just the thought of the beautiful blonde cutting the wrong vein made my mind move so fast it felt like it was on the edge of exploding any second and made my aching heart bleed uncontrollably. No matter how hard I tried my, I couldn't get this situation off my mind. Hell, I barely slept a full 8 hours in the past 4 days. I feel so screwed up right now.

I don't even know what to do. After that night, I tried to get him to tell me what happened that night, but he avoided it all costs. After he refused to answer, I stopped asking ,but doesn't mean I am gonna stop from finding out. I started to be at Ken's side more frequently, trying to keep him busy and getting him to stay at our apartment. I wanted him nowhere near Daren, not until I figured things out. Something just wasn't right. The less I found out , the more mad I got about Daren seeming to have the perfect cover for his persona. It pissed me off to no end. No one had anything bad to say about him. Slick bastard.

All I heard was some people saying Ken has been acting strange, but even though I knew what he was doing, doesn't mean I want the whole Palm Woods to know. It hurt me that I was keeping this to myself, but it was bad enough he barely trusts me, he'd hate me if I told. Plus, I didn't know how he truly got the bruises, I was relying on an assumption. Plus if I did, who would believe me, as for as anyone else knows, Daren does no wrong.

A thought quickly came to me, I decided to confide in James and Carlos. They were furious, but concerned he would do this. When I told them it could possibly be Daren, we all knew we would stop at nothing to get rid of him. We knew we couldn't tell him, so we decided we're gonna have to do this in pure secret. They all wanted to help the blonde, but they knew it would be hard. Deep down the brunette know Kendall might hate him forever for this, but this was for his own good. If he wouldn't leave him willingly, we had to do something before he gets himself killed. We watched to the closed room intensively, where a certain blonde was sleeping, heart aching as the many nightmares claimed his malfunctioning mind.

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**Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Anyway, Follow and Review. You know what I love. Peace:) -Genora**


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